The first toxic behavior focus is Gossip. The Inner Mean Girl Cleanse defines Gossip as follows:
"Talking or writing about a person who is not part of the conversation in such a way that either: a. they would feel bad hearing what you said or b. you wouldn't want them to hear what you said".
I think gossip really comes down to talking about something or someone in a negative fashion so that you make yourself feel better in comparison.
Gossip is rooted in truth, but always about the negative. Gossip spotlights all the messy faults, the hidden secrets, the known failures. So when we use gossip to point out faults, it makes us feel momentarily better in comparison. I think we hope when we gossip that by putting all the attention on another person's faults, no one will notice our own.
Can Gossip apply to a Whole City?
One of my goals in blogging is to spotlight all the great things that are going in metro Detroit. A lot of folks think I am a little different for talking about Detroit with such love, but overall I think people really enjoy it. But I personally don't like all the negative talk (gossip) about the Detroit area. Sure Detroit has major problems, but what I take issue with is that our problems are all that make the news. If I believe the media, there is nothing in metro Detroit worth praising.
Since the Dateline Special about Detroit (gossip), the image of Detroit to the nation is that of crime, blight and unemployment. While I don't deny any of these things, I do deny that that is the whole metro Detroit area - the whole truth. What most Detroiters had issues with about the Dateline story is that it was not a balanced view of our area. It was intentional negative reporting spotlighting the messy faults, hidden secrets, the known failures. It was pure gossip meant more for viewership than uncovering the truth.
Good Talk
The Mean Girl Challenge Cleanse says that instead of gossip, we should invest in Good Talk. Good Talk does not mean you turn into a Pollyanna, but it does require clean motivations and intentions. So I challenge metro Detroiters to do a little "Good Talk" about our area and I challenge non-Detroiters to dig a little deeper for the whole truth. Read a few of the following blogs that tell about the wonderful things that are happening in our area:
- Positive Detroit
- Detroit Moxie
- I am Young Detroit
- Street Culture
- Inside Detroit
Make an effort this week to say something that lifts up instead of tears down. A little Good Talk might make someone's day.
My next blog post will deal with the second inner mean girl toxic behavior of Comparison. If you want to follow along with the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse, go to http://www.meangirlcleanse.com/.
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Disclosure: I am participating in the Inner Mean Girl 40-day Cleanse as a Self-Love Ambassador. To thank me for my participation, I will receive a self-love gift from the founders of the Inner Mean Girl Reform School.
Click here to read all the posts in the Inner Mean Girl Series